wtF

wtF

So there’s this thing called Aardvark, it’s a nice concept. It’s a networking tool like no other. You are connected to virtually everybody on the net through this (of course everybody who has in some way registered for this service). The idea is that everybody signs up, adds aardvark to either their gtalk list or on twitter or what not, and then classifies what they know about and what they are good at. Whenever any member has any query in any category, they just post a question and everybody who knows stuff in that category, gets asked that. So this way, anybody in the world, irrespective of whether he knows you or not, can help you with the answer if he/she knows it. For example if somebody wanted to know which is the best F1 team and asked that question, people like me who know about F1, would get the question and would rightly say that it is McLaren Mercedes and there would be peace in the world again. I’d recommend you give it a whirl sometime. I meant Aardvark, well a whirl in the McLaren Mercedes wouldn’t be too bad either.

I use this on gtalk, and one of the topics that I get questions on sometimes is “technology”. A couple of days ago, I got this -

(Aardvark) Help someone with a question about *Technology*
|
aardvark@vark.com Hi Abhinav, Cameron F./19/Indiana,US just asked a question I think you migh...
Oct 20 (3 days ago)
Hi Abhinav,

Cameron F/19/Indiana,US just asked a question I think you might be able to answer,

"Can you sniff for packets using a wireless bridge? (DD-WRTv24)"

To answer, just reply to this message, and I'll forward your email along to Cameron.

Or, if you know someone who might be able to answer, send them this referral

If I don't hear from you soon, I'll ask someone else -- but you can answer anytime.

- Aardvark


I was intrigued by this question, and having some small amount of knowledge in this field, I decided to help 19 yr ol Cameron F from Indiana USA.
I’m sure my intelligent readers can figure out which part of the sentence was the determining factor. So I replied –

Reply

Any device in the network can sniff packets using a sniffer. I am not sure exactly what you want to do here, but my understanding is that you want to sniff packets using a wireless medium. As far as my understanding goes it doesn't matter which port of your machine you use to capture the packets for the sniffer, it will work. Do revert to me if your objectives are not as understood by me, i'll see if I can help you further.

I was really interested in helping dear Cameron who by now had managed to conjure a number of images in my head; I wonder why she never liked to wear a lot of clothes.

Soon enough, I got -

Cameron says:

"I'm looking for wireless passwords with my router, then I'll use aircrack to crack the passwords. But I just don't know how to "sniff" for the packets"

To respond, just reply to this message, and I'll forward your email along to Cameron.

- Aardvark


Well now I don’t know what makes it for the rest of you, I mean I don’t know what you guys (n girls as well) get your kicks out of, but a bad girl is all daddy needs. Imagine a 19 yr ol (barely legal) female asking you to help her crack passwords. That’s like the dream of every electronics engineer. Sure my dreams don’t stop there, but let’s ignore that bit. Imagine somebody like Sienna Miller (as in the baroness in the GIJOE movie) coming with a gun in one hand and a laptop in another, and saying in a husky voice -

"I'm looking for wireless passwords with my router, then I'll use aircrack to crack the passwords. But I just don't know how to "sniff" for the packets"

“Sniff the packets for me now or I’ll blow you duodenum into 65536 pieces”.

Oh just imagining it would give any techie a semi. Yes that’s how disgusting we are. Now I don’t want you guys to think of me as a despo or something. In fact I’m probably the most decent guy you could meet (in this respect), no kidding!! (probably for the first time in this blog). However as I said, the whole prospect of a young little password cracking nymph (hopefully) in tight leather was a little too much for me. So I poked around a bit, and it turned out that Cameron had registered onto aardvark via facebook, and had allowed users access to the facebook page. Check it out.

Yes!! Yes!!, you guys can laugh all you want, but you must admit that it was rather cruel of the universe to conspire in this manner against me. All of a sudden I don’t like this Cameron much either. Come to think of it she was probably why I jumped to conclusions.


Moral of the story – you did not really expect morals from me did you???

Dance Dance Revolution

DDR

Okay, before I forget, I think its best to give the credit due to the others who’ve had a major part to play in this one of a kind revolution. Yes unselfish as I am, I think it’s best to point out that there were two co-conspirators with me in the monumental movement that will needless to say sweep the nation maybe even the globe. Further I suspect when man perfects the warp drive and makes contact with the myriad of intelligent species that thrive in the many realms of the universe, the said revolution will conquer the new worlds seamlessly.
Ah there I go shooting off on a tangent right into space; I hope you understand I did not want to make the mistake of underemphasizing the importance of such a revolution. So before I get lost into the abyss of space again, I would give 50% credit to Bharat Choragudi. The remaining credit is shared between me, Vodka and tequila in ratios that I’m unable to discern with certainty.

Those of you that are familiar with the works of one Mr. R. Peters would by now having seen the title jump to the conclusion that the chinks’ve finally run amok with their obsessions and have now converted me into one of them. Don’t worry; yours truly does not have yellow fever.

I was recently on a very serious super official business meet. And if any of you have ever been on one of these, then you know that there generally is that pain in the ass dance party to be put up with; and unless you have the faithful companionship of Messrs Vodka and tequila you know that you don’t know what the hell you’re supposed to be doing there in the middle of people busy in the search of their marbles [ladies you’re exempt from this bit (not just because of the marbles metaphor)]. So what do you do in such situations? How do you come out of it looking respectable without being aloof and distant from the dance floor?

Well that’s what Bharat, Vodka, Tequila and I have solved. By translating a bunch of complex moves to easy actions followed by most in a normal workaday life, we can help you get on that dance floor and dazzle one and all. Well at least you won’t look like a complete clot. This really is a revolution I tell you, proof of this is the fact that Bharat and me ended up spending the whole evening not just dancing with girls (pretty to a degree), but even teaching them how to dance. Now all of my 2.5 avid readers know that on the dance floor I’m probably the most ungainly thing (except of course the fat, 40+, drunk lady); and in an exceptionally charitable mood I must say that Bharat would qualify just short of an eyesore. I realize as I write this that it probably isn’t the most positive way to qualify the founders of the DDR, so I’m going to rephrase that –

I am the second best of the ungainly things on an average dance floor (beaten by a whisker by the old, fat, drunk lady)

Bharat is the best thing on a dance floor that’s not an eyesore.

P.S. – charity is a good institution to be a part of, you apparently get tax relief

So as I was saying, there’s finally a way to score (or at least not humiliate yourself) on the dance floor, and we’re bringing it to you soon. As of now the members who are the brainchild of this revolution are working on getting some supermodels to take part in our video tutorials which would help you learn easily. So if you’re a supermodel and are reading this, what are you waiting for, send me a few of your profile pics and your phone number (on a more charitable note – get a life); this is your one chance to be part of something much larger then you could ever imagine. Please give us some time to get back to you as it takes us some time to sort through the mountains of applicants.

We’ve already received a couple of offers from people who wish to take a large chunk of credit for promoting the obviously self-sustaining revolution. We are yet to decide on whether we should hire them when we already have ‘we’ll work for no cost’ Samaritans.

As for the rest of you who would have to wait for the video tutorials to come out and take the globe over, I’ll leave you with a few suggestions of what do to if you find yourself on a dance floor without the slightest of where you’re supposed to look for your marbles –

1) Truck driver – this is one of the classics. Pretend to be a truck driver steering his huge steering. If you do it right, this is generally a safe move to stick to.

2) Chakki Piecing – a move immortalized by veeru in the movie sholay. Again this is a safe move that anybody with a little practice can pull off on a dance floor without looking like a klutz

3) Gooaalllll – pretend to be one of those footballers who has just scored a goal and is doing one of those celebrations where he pretends he’s flying. (actually you could just pretend to be a plane that’s flying). This move if done slow enough works well when typical Punjabi songs are playing. Actually if you pay attention to the antics displayed by footballers after having scored, you could easily load up your Arsenal with more moves.

4) Point to the stars – again one of the classic I’m a paralytic guy who cant dance moves. It’s the predecessor to the 5) fly the kite move.

There are like a gazillion more moves like that, I’m just a little too lazy to type all right now, I’ll furbish you with more moves from time to time. The video tutorials however might come on a insignificant monetary investment I’m afraid, depends on how hot our supermodel is.

THE BEST DRIVE OF MY LIFE (so far)

Disclaimer :- Do not attempt the below unless you are a trained professional. Rash driving could be quite bad for health, horrible for the kidneys you know.

So here we are once again, reading, writing and comprehending unusual things. It’s like a whole English exam. Of course we aren’t really reading Shakespeare, or writing bestsellers, or as it usually is with my blog comprehending much either. Which I just realized lends more credibility to the English exam simile. Don’t fret, I’m not here to give a discourse on English exams, to be frank I don’t think much or get much in exams and so will probably never give a discourse on them. I’m here tonight with the intention of penning down (or at least typing down) an experience I only just had like 45 minutes or so ago. This is how the events unfolded on this pleasant evening –

It was one of those cool evenings where you find yourself driving along (not too fast) just enjoying the atmosphere. It was one of those rare evenings when the traffic is just the right amount; not too much to piss you off, nor too less to take away the nice feeling of overtaking others; just the right amount. It was one of those rarer still evenings when my new Nokia 5800 express music threw at me a great playlist. Pink Floyd, Porcupine Tree, Credence Clearwater Rainworth, etc. etc. you get the picture. It was one of those evenings when I was cherishing my moments driving outside, and if you’re someone who drives 35kms to work and 35kms back each day for more then a year then you know that this is probably the rarest thing to happen among the said rare occurrences

I did not devote at first more then a cursory glance at the grey activa that came swerving by and cut across in front of me. I wasn’t in the disposition to bother about things as asinine as others overtaking me; I had just arrived somewhere but not here. I pulled up right behind the activa at the nearest signal; it was only then that I noticed the clean smooth calf and the little feminine pink floaters (nike) on the pretty frame of the person swerving said activa around. Granted that I could only see the back, and even that covered by a black coat and helmet, but there was something about the outline that captivated the eye. She could’ve probably had the face of chewbacca for all I knew, but to a mind doused in Floydian sentiments, buffered by porcupine tree, visions of Scarlett Johannsen and Jessica Alba presented themselves readily. Now I don’t write to tell you about every pretty girl I come across, if I did I would probably write more then I currently do, however what made me want to come and narrate in some words what happened was what happened when the signal turned green.

I mentioned my new Nokia 5800 earlier in my tale, I told you how it was a rare occurrence that it gave me a good playlist, now I wish to clear up a thing or two here. I’ve had the blessed device for a little over a week now, good music, good display, good browser, good phone all in all I should say, but there’s something about a phone which manages to make you want to change the song that’s playing every so often despite the fact that the playlist on shuffle consists of songs that you basically like. I can’t put my finger on what it is, I suspect it’s just me being choosy about what I want to hear when, but there it is. However on this particular occasion, my dear phone had my best interests at heart, I still can’t put my finger on what it is, but I’m going to go with my phone has a character of own, doesn’t always do its job like a machine, but when it matters goes all out to do what is necessary. I think I ought to name him/her sometime, and decide what gender it should be too.

So, as soon as the signal changed to green and the cute bird took off, and I mean with speeds you don’t associate birds with. I mean one second you’re staring at a cute ankle, and the next it’s just dust. This is when my phone decided to go all out for me, it made the grand conjuration. The chase had begun. I must say at the outset that considering she was on a activa and I on a victor, the ensuing hunt wasn’t exactly the most high caliber pursuit that you might’ve seen, but it was the most invigorating drive I’ve been in.

Over the next 15 minutes or so we kept trading the lead, I must say that for a pretty frame, she yields a pretty nasty ride (no pun intended). She was a lot more aggressive then I expected, and I in turn displayed more aggression then I expected to. We both were quite conscious of each deliberately trying to overtake the other, zipping in and out of traffic, making quick, bold, intelligent moves. For most part the others on the road were just like stationary obstacles we drove around in hot pursuit of each other. It was the most exhilarating drive I’ve had in my life yet, and in my short life so far I’ve driven a lot more then I wanted to. Needless to say that when at the end of it all I saw her indicating to the right (off the main road) I was well past the point I had to turn to go home. Now it’s not like I’m in love or anything, but the pinnacle of the evening was the one glance that she gave me just before turning off. I dunno if I’ve got words for it, I don’t even know if it was an acknowledgement of having won, or a disgusted scowl or, wanton lustful sighs (personally I’m rooting for the third), but her eyes are not something I’m not going to forget in a hurry.

I’ve heard a couple of friends tell me of such happenings to them, and I’ve always thought about how it might be. You see until recently I was among those who believe women can’t or shouldn’t be allowed to drive. I still do at large maintain that the fairer sex shouldn’t be given the keys lightheartedly; it could be quite perilous to the other drivers and pedestrians on the road, not to mention the local flora and fauna. However after what I just had, I have come to a quite paradoxical conclusion – If at all I want other people driving fast on the road, I want it to be people like that.

P.S. – I realize as I go through what I’ve written that I’ve probably not made it exciting enough, not conveyed in entirety what and how exactly it was, however I’d just let you judge how deeply this impacted me by the fact that within an hour of this happening, I felt the need put it in black and white, and you guys know how often I blog.

P.P.S – In case any of you are wondering about how rash driving could be bad for the kidneys, a friend of mine met with an accident and had some problems due to the injury to his kidneys. And yes it’s rash driving that’s really dangerous, not fast driving in particular.

Oink Oink

Well there’s no need I guess to introduce the next thing that I’m writing about. It seems that it would take no less then a pandemic (almost) that has gripped the entire planet (almost) in delirium (almost) to goad me into writing again. One might even go so far as to say that the sole purpose of this conspiracy the universe resulting in the bereavement of many and the further threat to the life of many more might only be to get me to write more (what! One might say that, not likely I know, but still). Well if that’s what the universe conspired to do then I must say the universe is a brilliant master mind it knows exactly what to do to get the writer in me going; if however that is not the sole purpose of the universe, then we’re screwed. I can see no other benevolent cause that the universe could possibly have to have done this to our race, and if you can then statistics suggest that you’re probably wrong.

Lets move away from that cheery thought for a bit, and focus our genetically superior minds (superior to pigs and chicken I mean) to a question that has troubled me a lot more then questions usually tend to. I mean there’s only that much a question can trouble me before I get the answer to it. In the off hand chance that I don’t figure out an answer to it, I just get bored with it. In this case however the troubling fact is a probable answer. There’s no getting away from a disturbing answer. So as crankenstien once before asked me on some totally unrelated occasion “what’s taking the trouble to trouble someone as troublesome as you?”

Well it’s the same thing that troubled me when there was a bird flu scare or an anthrax scare. How the f*#$ do these animal diseases come to humans (the really troubling bit is the probable answer in the question).

I’d like to think that all the 2.5 of my readers have figured out what my worries are. Or well I at least hope 5 guys read this and figure out about 50% of what I’m talking about, it’s the same thing really.

Now you guys know that I generally explain myself quite clearly without talking about things that have no relevance. But this time I’m going to let you intelligent guys figure it out. I leave you guys with a link –


http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090428055623AAUOba3

Now I know the second comment comes from somebody who calls himself themonsters, but I think that’s quite an ironic name for a total nerd. Besides he doesn’t really have any proof or convincing arguments to convince me that my fears are misplaced.

Ya Ya I know I’m sick, don’t blame me, I have swine flu, and I’m delirious, I haven’t quite gotten over having aids as yet.

P.S. – Having swine flu doesn’t mean I’m a pig or go anywhere near pigs, and you’re not particularly intelligent to leave a comment suggesting something to that tune

This is why i'm an Agnostic

If god is all powerful then nothing a human being does could affect him. For, if a human act could please or displease god, then human beings would have a power over god. So, either god is not all powerful, or doesn’t give a hoot what you or I do. But, if god isn’t really all powerful, then he isn’t really god, and he couldn’t send us to hell even if he wanted to. So, sin at will; for, either god doesn’t care what we do or he cares but can’t do anything about it.

Makes you think a bit does't it???